To be honest, since I have been home I have felt nervous about being a part of births, medical missions, or even missions in general. I have not felt the same desire and excitement I felt before and so I have procrastinated and said no to some of the opportunities that have come up in the last couple months. This season of returning to the U.S., has been a season of allowing roots to reach, grow, and search deeper for water. A season of abiding in Jesus and beginning to recognize the fruit of my ministry and learning to celebrate the fruit that I will not get to see until I get to heaven.
The last couple months, I began to start feeling unexplained sadness constantly nagging at me. I kept meditating on Jeremiah 17:8 “For he will be like a tree planted by the water, That extends its roots by a stream And will not fear when the heat comes; But its leaves will be green, And it will not be anxious in a year of drought Nor cease to yield fruit.” This verse reminded me to not be afraid of my roots that I let grow in the Philippines or to be afraid of allowing roots to grow again in the US.
In February, about 8 months after returning from the Philippines, I went to a debrief retreat. The ability to express what I was feeling or to talk about my memories from overseas became harder and I started feeling a need to escape from everyone who didn’t understand. My parents encouraged me that this retreat would help me transition well and find the courage to say yes to God again.
The theme for my debrief was ABIDE. John 15:4 says “Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me.” This was exactly what I needed. The ABIDE retreat helped me begin to face and work through grief, losses, and I begin feeling renewed and excited for what God has planned for me. Since processing my time in ministry over the past couple years, I have recognized the need to honor my grief and have begun to feel renewed, one baby-step at a time.
The Lord is leading me through renewal and I feel called to let you know about my next step. 9 years ago I went with my dad to Malawi, Africa for a trip that would change my life forever. At the end of that trip, I made a commitment to God and myself that I would dedicate my life to missions and begin preparing for a longer commitment overseas until God told me otherwise. The plan, for now, is “just keep saying yes.” Many of you have been on this journey with me and prayed with me, and over me, through all the different experiences and training He has given me along the way. I cannot thank you enough for that support. And now here I am, writing to share with you about this season of renewal God has me in and I believe that He wants to renew the passion He has given me for His people. So I am very excited to share with you that after 9 years I will be traveling full circle and joining the team on April 1st making the long trek back to Malawi, Africa. Please thank God with me as I grow these new roots!
Please partner with Gracie by prayerfully and financially supporting her to go back to Malawi, Africa!
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